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TB-500 is an injection peptide. It can be used to help heal and improve the range of motion in cases of injury or alleviating pain, reducing inflammation if injury. TB-500 is used more widely in racehorses, although not a veterinary drug prescription.

TB-500 is a short peptide segment or fragment of thymosin natural hormone beta-4 (TB-4.) To be clear, very strongly TB-500 is not TB-4, often sold under that name. TB-4 itself is still a rare research material extremely expensive and not available for bodybuilding or equine breeding.

TB 500

In the body, TB-4 is produced in the thymus, a gland that grows the most during childhood and trophies to progress in adulthood to almost cease to exist in old age. Several studies have found that TB-4 promotes various forms of wound healing, promotes the differentiation of stem cells and reduces inflammation. The protein hormones such as Thymosin Beta 4 is not attached in full to a receptor site, because they are very large and do not fit. However, an active region of the protein includes receptor sites.

The sequence of TB-500 peptide is identical to the area of the active region and TB-4 shares many and possibly all properties TB-4 in a way that is more economical to produce.

Usage of TB-500

In cases of acute injury when, judging from experience that otherwise recovery will be slow, or in cases of chronic injury which is healing just not. The types of injury benefit include tendonitis and muscle strain or tear, but can include many types of muscle and connective tissue as well as skin damage. When muscle injury causes problems of flexibility, TB-500 provides a substantial improvement. With regard to racehorses, it is stated that prevents the formation of adhesions. I could not tell if this is true in humans or horses, but there are strong indications that helps treat existing adhesions.

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Benefits of thymosin beta 4 (TB 500)

  • It increases muscle growth with massive increase in stamina and strength.
  • Prevents muscle spasms.
  • Improved muscle tone.
  • Increase the exchange of substances between cells.
  • Promotes tissue repair.
  • Stretches connective tissue.
  • It helps maintain flexibility.
  • Reduces inflammation of joint tissues.
  • Prevents formation of adhesions and fibrous bands in the muscles, tendons and ligaments.
  • Differentiation of endothelial cells (blood vessels).
  • Keratinocyte migration.
  • Collagen deposition.
  • Decreases inflammation.

Side effects

  • No side effects detected

Watch this video

 

Possible increase in effectiveness by combining TB-500 with GHRP

As TB-500 is quite effective when taken alone, at least some people will experience a better result with the combination of TB-500 and GH-500 TB only. Alternatively, compared to using only TB-500, the curative effect is improved by combining TB-500 with any GHRP such as GHRP-2, GHRP-6, or ipamorelin. Of these two approaches and results the combination of TB-500/GH is the most effective.

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How To Reverse Receding Gum Line?

Gingivitis and receding gums are gum diseases caused by an infection bacterial tissue around the teeth and gums. Sugar and starch found in foods react with bacteria within the mouth to form a film soft, sticky, colorless known as plaque bacteria.

There are two types of gingivitis:

  1. a) Acute Gingivitis is the inflammation reversible.
  2. b) Chronic gingivitis is a disease that causes inflammation, pain and swelling of the gums or may evolve into periodontitis (pyorrhea or).

Receding-gums

Hypertrophic Gingivitis is a chronic disorder characterized by a thickening of the gingiva and bleeding. The marginal gingivitis affects only the margin. Hormonal gingivitis transient in nature occurs in women during pregnancy or menstrual cycle.

Causes of Gingivitis

The bacteria present in the mouth form a clear sticky substance on the teeth. This substance is called plaque and produces toxins that break the gingival tissues. If the plaque is not removed, cause tartar, plaque hardens ie. Tartar triggers the gum disease that causes inflammation, bleeding and swelling of the gums. If it is not cured causes loss of teeth, which is an advanced stage of periodontitis. In this condition the gums separate from the teeth and form cavities that become infected. The infection spreads to the bone, causing loss of the tooth.

How to reverse receding gum line

This disease occurs because of:

  • Poor dental hygiene
  • Smoking and chewing tobacco
  • Rubbish diet
  • High levels of stress
  • Family history of dental problems
  • Leukemia, gingivitis can be a symptom of cancer
  • A few visits to the dentist.

In children can occur child gingivitis especially if children suffering from type I diabetes or by poor oral hygiene. Hormonal changes may also be responsible for gingivitis during pregnancy. Other factors that may contribute to gingivitis are malnutrition and side effects of medications. The first signs of the disease are not painful, but over time the gums can do much harm. Bacterial gingivitis is not contagious with a kiss and is not a sexually transmitted disease.

Watch this video

 

Symptoms of gingivitis

Bacteria growing in tartar irritate the gums at the base of the teeth causing a series of annoying symptoms. Gingivitis is also known as bleeding gums. Therefore, it is one of the most visible signs the gums begin to bleed easily. It is particularly frequent during brushing or flossing.

Red and swollen gums are another obvious sign of gingivitis. If the gums are severely inflamed, they become tender and swollen. Occasionally, the gums may become extremely sensitive and painful.

Brushing

When the gums are healthy, they have to pale pink, and the fabric is compact. If it’s infected, the color changes to bright red or red-violet.

People who suffer from gingivitis facing one another problem called gingival recession. Sometimes they may develop ulcers on the surface of the gums.

All the above symptoms may be accompanied by halitosis (bad breath) or a bad taste in the mouth due to the growth of bacteria in the oral cavity. Acute necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis is a very serious variant of this disease and also causes fever, swelling of the swollen neck lymph nodes and severe pain.

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Vacation Preparation Series: Makeup

On Monday mornings, I bring a big old makeup bag to work with me in my gym bag, and I leave it here through the week so that I can do my makeup at work in the morning after the gym. On Fridays, I pack it all up and lug it home again. Over the last few weeks I’ve been trying to pare down my collection to figure out what I want to bring to Florida with me. Obviously, this has been a feat – my face is fairly oily on a cold winter day here in Ottawa, so in 35+ degrees and humidity, I’m at risk of blinding Mickey and Minnie if the sun catches with my forehead. I’m pretty happy with the final makeup roster, so I thought I’d share the winning products with you all. Bear in mind that I have combination skin, so my forehead and nose tend to get quite oily.

Primer:

Hourglass Mineral Veil Primer with SPF 15. The makeup artist at Sephora told me that this product turns your makeup waterproof and is a great mattifyer, so I picked up a sample size for $19.50 and I’m really liking it so far.

I mix it with:

Bioderma – Sebium Mat Anti-shine Cream-gel

I’ve been using this for a couple of months and it does a great job of keeping my face matte during the day. I do still have to blot my nose once during the day, but overall I’m happy with this purchase.

Concealer

Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circle Treatment Concealer

I use this stuff before my foundation and I find it helps to brighten up my undereyes. The pink tone also helps to correct my dark circles.

Bobbi Brown Creamy Concealer

I apply this over my foundation and undereye corrector, just so my undereyes don’t look glaringly lighter than the rest of my face. It’s so smooth and creamy and it lasts FOREVER.

Foundation

I’ve designed a bit of a cocktail for my foundation, designed to have as many benefits as possible for my skin while not sweating off my face. For the foundation I’m bringing to Florida, I mixed the following foundations in a little tub I found in the craft section of the Dollar Store:

Missha M Perfect Cover BB Cream (#23)

Too Faced Tinted Beauty Balm SPF 20

Urban Decay Urban Defense Tinted Moisturizer SPF 20

MAC Face & Body Foundation

Together, these products give me good sun protection (The Missha BB Cream has an SPF of 45) and match my skin well. They also last on my face pretty well without being totally matte – I like to look a little dewy!

Bronzer

NARS Laguna Bronzer

Blush

NARS Orgasm

Highlighter

MAC Strobe Liquid

Eyeshadow

Benefit Creaseless Cream Shadow (in Sambadi Loves Me)

Maybelline Eyeshadow (Champagne)

Benefit Creaseless Cream Shadow (in Tattle Tale)

Eyeliner

MAC Black Track Fluid Line

Prestige Liquid Liner (Azure)

I actually don’t plan to wear much eyeliner on my trip, since I find it can be a dead giveaway that you have makeup on. I’ll still bring these, in case!

Mascara

L’Oreal Voluminous Mascara – Waterproof (Black brown)

I used to use waterproof mascara religiously, but have moved away from it recently since it’s such a pain to remove. For the heat, though, it’s a no brainer – waterproof or bust!

Perfume

Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue

Not that perfume counts as makeup, but I’ve filled a little travel perfume dispenser with this scent. This screams ‘summer’ to me!

So that’s it! Maybe I’ll check back in when I get back and let you know how this stuff held up for me!

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Vacation Preparation Series: Skin care

I’ve been counting down to my Florida vacation on a little calendar in my cubicle since January, and the wait is almost over. On Friday, Matt and I will be meeting up with my parents in Orlando for 5 days and then we’ll all be heading to the beach for 9 days. I’m looking forward to beach running, shopping, and spending time with my family.

Being mildly obsessive, I’ve been making lists of stuff I want to bring on my vacation for about 2 weeks now – I’ve already got a list taped to my bathroom mirror so that I don’t forget anything. I thought that I may as well share my vacation ‘must-haves’ with you, since many of these things could also be considered my summer must-haves. I’m planning to do a post on my vacation necessities as far as skin care, makeup, diet/fitness, and books. So without further ado…

I’ve been on a bit of a mission for the last month to get my skin clear enough to be able to go without foundation during the summer – at least on weekends. Growing up I always had very clear skin, and while I definitely wouldn’t call my skin ‘acne prone’ nowadays, in recent years I’ve been finding that when Ido get breakouts, they leave scars that either take forever to fade, or don’t fade at all. This has proven to be incredibly frustrating and leaves me feeling really self conscious when I go out without foundation on. After extensive research, I’ve picked up a few products that have really been doing wonders for my skin as far as fading existing scars, prevent new breakouts from scarring, and preventing breakouts all around.  I’ll list them here in the order that I use them, and explain a little bit about the frequency of which I use them.

FACE

Dr. Bronner’s Organic Baby Mild Liquid Soap

From the Dr. Bronner Website:

DESCRIPTION:
Our unscented baby contains no fragrance so is great for people who have allergies or sensitive skin. Of course it is great for babies as well. All oils and essential oils are certified organic to the National Organic Standards Program. Packaged in 100% post-consumer recycled plastic bottles.

INGREDIENTS:
Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxide**, Organic Olive Oil*, Organic Hemp Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil, Citric Acid, Tocopherol
* CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE INGREDIENTS

I have combination skin, meaning that my forehead and nose gets quite oily, while my cheeks and chin tend to be normal (not too oily, not too dry). A friend of mine with a similar ‘affliction’ was telling me about research suggesting that for those with oily skin, washing the skin with oils (which seems counterintuitive, I know) can be highly effective at preventing the overproduction of sebum (oil – how many times can I say ‘oil’ in one paragraph?). Since I’ve been using it, I’ve found my number of breakouts have drastically reduced, and my skin isn’t as oily during the day. Bonus tip: Use this stuff to wash makeup brushes! The best part: this stuff is CHEAP! Depending on the size, I’ve seen these retail for between $2.99 and $10 at American Apparel.

Dermaglow 10% Glycolic Acid

From Dermaglow:

Dull skin got you down? Reveal a fresher, brighter complexion with this toning and exfoliating solution.

Bring back your skin’s vitality! This two-in-one exfoliating toner lifts away dulling surface debris to uncover younger, more radiant skin. Suitable for all ages and skin types, the complex visibly diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, enlarged pores and scarring left by acne. Skin looks smoother, softer and more even.

Clinically Proven
• Significantly improves skins condition for younger, more radiant looking skin
• Improves appearance of sun damaged skin and age spots
• Minimizes appearance of wrinkles and fine lines
• Instantly smoothes and softens the texture of skin
• Non-Drying, Non-irritating
• For all skin types

This stuff has changed my complexion. After using it, my skin looks radiant and feels so so smooth. I’ve only been using it for a couple of weeks and I’ve seen differences in my acne scars. The directions say to use it 4-7 days a week, and I’ve been using it 4-5 times a week since I bought it, and my skin hasn’t been irritated at all. I got this for $50 at Shopper’s Drug Mart (I bought it at a 20x the points event!)

Avene Triacneal

From Avene:

A clinically-proven trio of acne-fighting ingredients, including patented Retinaldehyde® with proven anti-aging benefits, Glycolic Acid and the new patented Efectiose®, formulated with soothing thermal spring water to help eliminate breakouts, abnormal keratinization, acne-related redness and irritation and residual scarring.

I realized just now that I forgot to put this in my little banner above! Oops. Given that this has a little glycolic acid, I only use it on nights that I don’t use the Dermaglow (except maybe 1 or 2 nights, when I use both). I haven’t noticed anything dramatic since using this, except that my breakouts are less frequent and tend to clear up faster. Still, I do enjoy its properties (lightening acne scars, eliminating acne-related redness, etc.) so I’ll keep using this. I got this at Shopper’s as well, for about $30.

I should add here that I will not be taking this product to Florida as it contains retinaldehydes (like a retinol but stronger, apparently) which increases your skin’s sensitivity to the sun.

Avene Cicalfate

From Avene:

A technologically advanced restorative skin cream that helps speed the recovery process by maintaining an optimal healing environment for the skin.

Indication

  • Cuts, scrapes, scratches
  • Burns
  • Cracked skin
  • Stitches
  • Hair removal
  • Diaper rash
  • Post-treatment

Benefits

  • Helps speed the skin recovery process
  • Provides a healthy skin environment to minimize a potential infection
  • Prevents signs of scarring
  • Fragrance-free, preservative-free, colorant-free
  • Avène Thermal Spring Water to soothe and soften the skin
  • Hypoallergenic and non-comedogenic

Basically, this stuff is zinc oxide diaper cream (that thick white cream people wipe on babies’ butts so they don’t get a rash) but made to be a bit more malleable (improper use of that word, I know). This stuff has been miraculous at clearing up pimples so that they don’t leave scars, and my skin feels indescribably soft after I use it. I did a fair amount of research on this before I bought it (since it was around $30 at Shopper’s Drug Mart), and people raved about its ability to clear up scars as if they were never there. Love it. This is a must have for my trip to Florida, since I think it will be great to apply to my skin after a day in the sun.

Sibu Sea Buckthorn OIl

From their website:

Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil

Sea buckthorn seed oil has long been used as a topical treatment to aid in the relief of skin conditions such as eczema, acne, rosacea, burns, and wounds AND as a traditional beauty treatment to preserve youthful skin tone and texture. It is a secret remedy to fight wrinkles and age spots so you may (or may not) want to share it with your friends.

Our therapeutic grade organic seed oil will help restore damaged skin to its natural beautiful state.

  • Quick acting/readily absorbed
  • For all skin-types
  • Helps relieve Rosacea, Acne, Eczema
  • Helps diminish wrinkles/age-spots
  • Use to treat burns/wounds
  • Promotes skin recovery and healing

I ordered this from a website called Well.ca, which I love love love. It was 16.99 with free shipping, and I should mention that the bottle is teeny tiny (but you only need a very small amount for each use). I saw some reviews of this product on Youtube, and was on the hunt for a good oil to use at night (I usually use 100% Argan Oil – I buy the President’s Choice version for $15.99. Bargain!). The most noticeable effect of this bag is that it makes my skin super soft. Disclaimer: it stinks.

Neutrogena – Ultra Sheer Face Sunscreen SPF 60 with Helioplex

Not much to say about this. It’s sunscreen! I use this on my face regularly since I use retinol products (the Triacneal). I like it well enough – it’s not too greasy and doesn’t make me particularly oily.

BODY

Lush Lovely Jubblies

From the Lush website:

Take care of your finest features with Mother Nature’s finest ingredients. Inspiring men and women alike, our rather brilliant breast cream is packed full of tightening meadowsweet infusion and firming tiger lily petals to help fight the forces of gravity. We add heaps of beeswax and organic oils of almond and avocado to soften your melons and keep them supple, (and to make it even harder to keep your fans at bay!) Smooth a generous amount over your décolletage area and leave your cleavage smelling like a fresh floral bouquet of orange blossom, rose, jasmine and ylang ylang.

This stuff was pretty pricey (around $26) but I’ve noticed a big difference in my…ladies…since I started using it. Perfect for preparing to bare it all in a swimsuit!

Designer Skin Angel Daily Moisturizer


I can’t find a website for this stuff, so here’s some information from another site:

Silky-soft, sensuous skin. Velvety to the touch. Angel Daily Moisturizer is indeed heaven-sent. Unlike other moisturizers, this Guardian of Your Skin also protects, firms, and nourishes your most precious asset…your skin. Potent anti-aging and firming ingredients visibly improve skin’s firmness and texture. Hemp Seed Oil provides the ultimate moisturization. So spread your wings and get ready to fly. This Angel is going to nourish your body and soul.

I have only seen this stuff sold alongside tanning lotions. I’m not really sure why, since it clearly has broader applications than tanning; it smells amazing and absorbs beautifully into the skin. I can’t attest to its firming properties since I’ve only been using it for a week, but it’s among the best moisturizers I’ve found, as far as, you know…moisturizing goes. Plus I got it on sale (around $12 – I think it’s usually around $20 which is robbery for a body lotion, if you ask me).

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Vacation Preparation Series: Fitness/Diet

Welcome to Part II of my pre-vacation series of posts! I thought today I’d talk a little about the diet and fitness regimen I’ve been following for the last month leading up to my trip to Florida. I should preface this post by saying that I’m nowhere near where I ultimately want to be with my body; I’d actually like to lose about 30lbs and build some additional muscle. With that said, I’ve noticed an improvement in muscle tone (I’m hesitant to say that I’ve gained muscle since I’m not too sure how possible that is while eating in a deficit) and have been losing weight steadily since I implemented this ‘plan.” Off we go…

DIET

My diet for the last month has followed a cyle like this:

Monday: 1250 calories | Tuesday: 1250 calories | Wednesday: 1250 calories | Thursday: 1250 calories | Friday: 1600 calories | Saturday: 2200 calories | Sunday: 1200 calories | Weekly Average Intake: 1430 calories

Macronutrient wise, I aim for 35% protein/35% carbs and 30% fat during the week. On weekends, my carb intake is quite a bit higher. Although I think that my intake is in the healthy range (especially given my activity level), I’m not thrilled with waking up in a carb coma on Sunday morning, so this is something I’ll be trying to reign in going into summer.

I’ve been using my fitbit as a guide to help me assess my caloric burn, and on most days I burn around 2500 calories; however, there are a few outliers (days when I’m particularly active I can burn up to 2900 calories and days when I’m completely sedentary it’s closer to 1800-1900 calories). I have to say that I’m a bit wary of the numbers that the fitbit gives me – I think that for many people it would be accurate, but they issue a disclaimer stating that the fitbit can have a 10-15% margin of error. Now, 10-15% is a lot of calories – it means that if the fitbit tells me I burn 2500 calories, it’s possible that I really only burn between 2125 and 2250 calories. Bummer. I’ll need to experiment a bit more to compare the fitbit readings with my actual results, but I will be taking the fitbit to Florida so that I can track how many steps I’m taking/day.

FITNESS

Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile will remember that I used to do BodyPump a couple times a week. After working with the trainer who guided me through my metabolic repair, I stopped doing BodyPump, and instead started doing an upper/lower body split. This means that I work my upper body one day, and my lower body on another, but not on the same day (pretty basic!). Sometimes when I’m feeling crazy I do a 4 day split like this:

Monday: Chest & Triceps | Tuesday: Back & Biceps | Wednesday: Lower Body | Thursday: Shoulders & Abs | Friday: Yoga and walking (just around for errands and such) | Saturday: Swimming or light cardio | Sunday: Run

When I do my upper/lower body split, it looks like this:

Monday: Upper body & abs | Tuesday: Lower Body | Wednesday: Cardio | Thursday: Upper body & abs | Friday: Yoga and walking (just around for errands and such) | Saturday: Swimming or light cardio | Sunday: Run

You’ll notice that when I only work my lower body once a week. This is because that as I head into marathon training, I’ll be running 3 times a week and I don’t want to overwork my legs.

I thought I’d break down the exercises that I do for each body part, in case anyone is looking for some ideas. I’m by no means an expert (yet!) and I’m definitely not ‘jacked’, but I’m told that I’m pretty lean for someone my size (I hope to drop the last half of that sentence in the near future ;) ) so…

Chest & Triceps

Wide Grip Push-Up

Incline Dumbbell Press

Tricep Dip

Tricep Dumbbell Extension

Tricep Rope Pulldown

Back & Biceps

Dumbbell Bench Row

The first two exercises here (kind of shoulder exercises, too)

Wide Grip Lat Pulldown

Seated Cable Row

T-Bar Row

Stability Ball Back Extension

Barbell Curl

Alternate Hammer Curl

Lower Body

Dumbbell Walking Lunge

Step Ups

Stiff-Legged Barbell Deadlifts

Wide-Grip Deadlift

Barbell Glute Bridge

Bulgarian Split Squat

Donkey Kicks

Goblet Squat

Shoulders & Abs

Seated Dumbbell Press

Dumbbell Front Raise

Side Lat Raise

Upright Barbell Row

BOSU Sit Ups (see middle of the page)

Stability Ball Pass Crunch

Supplements

Every day, I take:

Probiotics/Digestive Enzymes (green pills)

Glucosamine/Chondroitin + MSM (2 pills/day)

Omega 3 supplements (2 pills/day)

Calcium supplements (2 pills/day)

B12/Iron Supplement (1 pill/day – it’s the red one in the picture)

Pre-natal vitamin (for skin and hair – 1 pill/day)

It seems like a lot but I’m so used to it now that it doesn’t bother me at all. Depending on the day, I sometimes take Grapeseed (resveratrol) as well.

Just let me know if you have any questions on anything here. Have a great night!

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Vegetarianism

I’m a vegetarian. I’ve never really enjoyed the taste of red meat (despite coming from somewhat of a hunter-gatherer family), save for the occasional taco or hamburger, so I stopped eating it when I was about 14. Chicken was a staple in my house growing up, so I continued to eat it until I was 19, at which point I was no longer living at home and was too lazy and repulsed by raw meat to cook it for myself.

I’m not bothered by people eating meat, and don’t fall on one side of the fence or the other as far as whether humans “should” eat meat. I do think that the way that animals are treated in the meat industry is abysmal and I wish that all meat-eaters could afford to eat humanely-raised, organic meat, for both their health and the animals’. For me, I just don’t enjoy eating something knowing that it was once alive, pretty cute, and smarter than a dog (and probably some people I know)…so I don’t.

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Ad Lib: Post Vacation ______

I’ve got a case of the post-vacation somethings. I say ‘somethings’ because I’m not really sure what ‘they’ are. I can say that I’m not shocked, since I started to feel a bit off before my vacation was even over. Am I making you want to take a vacation with me yet? Yeah, I thought so.

Oddly, I’m usually one of those people who is ready to go home when my vacation is over.  Maybe this is because I usually don’t take vacations with my significant other; in the past couple of years I’ve gone to Florida, Chicago, and Las Vegas but none of those trips were with Matt. And on those vacations, I slept on a futon, in a hostel, and in a room with 7 other girls, respectively. April’s trip to Florida was pretty much my first vacation with a significant other and where I slept in an actual bedroom in an actual hotel (well, resort)…without 6 other people. All of my vacations have been a blast, but I think it goes without saying that this one was particularly awesome.

I won’t do one of those boring 4 piece vacation recap posts that I always skim over on other blogs, but I will say that my vacation has given me lots of stuff to think about. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Maritimes (yes, I know that Newfoundland isn’t technically one of the Maritimes) but I always feel happier when I’m near the water and I’m a totally different person when I’m in a sunny climate. So if anyone out there living in Florida wants to sponsor a feisty Canadian, I’d love to make myself a permanent fixture there ;)

Note: Biceps are smaller than they appear in Dr. Seuss land.

I’ll be back in a few days with an update on marathon training. Hope you had a great weekend!

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Thank you, Martha Beck.

I need to immortalize this here, from Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

Transitions begin, deep down, the minute you set out to live a life that doesn’t jibe with your essential self. Over time, the dissonance, the sense of never being who you really are, starts to bother you. A lot. In fact, it finally becomes intolerable. Even though everything may look fine to the people around you, the essential self is torn and dying. Either you end up having a nervous breakdown (which is really just your essential self refusing to continue along the wrong trajectory) or you simply decide that you have to acknowledge your real thoughts, preferences, desires, and identity.

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A little bit about me

Happy Saturday! I saw this little questionnaire on Julie’s blog and decided to fill it out myself.

1. What is your favorite word?

Lately I’ve been saying “zitto” a lot, which means (basically) “shut up” in Italian. I hear it like 300 times a week at Matt’s house and it’s started to rub off. I’ve also been using “authentic” a lot lately (not sure why).

2. What is your least favorite word?

I have an irrational hatred for the word “synergy.” Or any other corporate buzzword for that matter (champion…engaging…deck…I could go on).

3. What turns you on?

Confidence (particularly in social situations. I couldn’t date someone who makes a bad first impression), a good sense of humour (wit), politeness, ambition.

4. What turns you off?

Poor hygiene (nose hair, I’m talking to you). Oh and necklaces. I can’t get behind guys wearing necklaces.

5. What sound do you love?

Songs I love on the radio. Waves. Leaves blowing and birds chirping in the spring/summer. The laughter of people I love (cheeese!).

6. What sound do you hate?

I’m with Julie here. I hate car horns.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck (and its derivatives).

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

Personal trainer, nutritionist (dietician really but going back to school for 5 years isn’t an option really), real estate agent (just because I like looking at houses and talking to people). Part of me wants to work in a book store or health food store too.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

My job. There, I said it. Aside from that, probably anything to do with working in a restaurant.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

“There’s a method to my madness and a reason for all the crappy things that have happened in the world”. Oh and “Here, everyone is at their perfect weight and it’s impossible to get fat.”. Thanks, G.

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Touchy Feely (Emphasis on the feely)

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I suspect that feeling my emotions (and the emotions of others) very deeply is in my genes. I remember when I was a pre-teen, my younger brother used to suffer from terrible insomnia because he would lay awake thinking about starving African children or missing people. My mom, to this day, will wake up in the middle of the night worrying about something I mentioned to her in passing on the phone the night before.

I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mom growing up, that involved a lot of yelling and insults about my personality and my weight. Of course, the comments about my personality usually got worse as I got fatter and better as I got thinner. Despite our intense verbal interactions, my mom and I were always terrible communicators; I remember that my knee-jerk reaction to our fights was to cry rather than to try and fight back.

So, considering my reactive past and my tendency to cry rather than talk, I figure it makes sense that my body is like a walking weather vane where my life satisfaction is concerned. For the last year, something has felt so wrong in my life that I’ve been struggling with insomnia (trouble falling asleep and, if I do fall asleep, either waking up in the middle of the night or waking up feeling like I have barely slept), weight gain, anxiety, and depression. I’ve felt lethargic, lackadaisical, apathetic, and hopeless. I feel hopeful when I think of the future with Matt, and of the possibilities awaiting me once I finish my nutrition certification and my real estate course. I’m still loving the gym, and enjoying spending time with my friends. But I hate my job.

I mean I really really hate it. I’ve been hesitant to write about it too much in detail because I am well aware that I’m very fortunate to have a job – especially in light of the recent budget announced by the Canadian government. I’m so grateful to have a steady deposit into my bank account every 2 weeks and to have health benefits and a pension. With that said, I am miserable.

My job isn’t particularly stressful, and I definitely can’t complain that I work overtime or work too hard for the time that I’m there. However, the time that I’m in my cubicle, I feel like I am going insane. I want to punch my computer screen, I leave work with tension headaches, and I have knots sitting in my stomach for the 7.5 hours that I’m sitting at my desk. I get home from work and am totally drained of energy. Every time I get actual work to do, I am resentful because I loathe the tasks. I have absolutely no desire to move to a higher position (more responsibility for something I don’t enjoy? No thanks). These “symptoms” have gotten worse by the day for the last year. The concept of spending another 32 years doing what I’m doing is unfathomable to me.

I know that I sound like a spoiled brat. For the longest time I shoved the realization that I hate my job to the back of my mind, because I have oodles of friends who work the 9-5 in an office job and are completely content, so I should too. But my body tells me every single day that I am steering myself farther and farther away from what I want to do. At this point, I’m not even sure if my problem is the cubicle job, the work itself, or the actual Monday-Friday 9-5 lifestyle. A couple of years ago, I did have a job I really enjoyed in the same organization where I currently work, but I was only in the position for 3 months (so who’s to say how I’d feel about it after 2 years), and those positions are few and far between due to the current economic/political climate.

So where do I go from here? For starters, I’ve taken to reading some books on the subject of changing your life. Over the last month I’ve read:

The gist of most of these books has been the same: quit your job, do something you love to do and the money will find you. Although the information hasn’t been revolutionary, each book I read makes me feel like I have a friend who is saying “It’s OK to have the feelings you’re having, and they aren’t wrong, and you aren’t alone.” The last book – Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck – is truly amazing though. She addresses the roots of the fear paralyzing those of us who want to take leaps of faith, and offers gentle debates to the common “What ifs?” and “Buts” that plague most of us. I have a few other Martha Beck books waiting for me at the library, as well as this gem:

Yes, I’m taking career advice from 50 Cent. Obviously it worked for him…right? I’m hoping to not get shot (even once) in my quest for a job I love, though.

I think I am in a better position than many when it comes to finding a job I love. I’ll be finished my real estate exam by July, I am enrolled in the Precision Nutrition Coaching Certificate, and I plan to get my PT certification and Kettlebell certification in the fall. I think we can all agree that just as the hardest part of doing yoga is getting on the mat, or the hardest part of running is starting, the hardest part of making a change is just jumping.

Right about now, I’d love to have a mentor.

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